Save a Nicke and rub Two Pennines Togetherl!

     Money comes and money goes just like Paul said in the Bible, I have known plenty and I have known being broke. This is the way my life is. Do I wish I would know plenty more than broke, yes. What I would really like is knowing how much money I will make, in a salary, each month to stay in the peaceful existence of not worrying about money. My life, as a mother, has not been easy financially and I praise God for the ups and downs in my finances, because that is where my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. God has lead me and taught me how to be faithful and trust HIM in meeting all of our needs.


     I have made a mental two column list in my mind of my wants in one column and my needs in the second. My needs are always the same; godly children, home, food, bills paid, health and so on. My needs seem to change regularly from a vacation to a new TV. Just like God's words is forever and never changing, my needs never change and are the same today as the faithful in the Bible were thousands of years ago.


     I am going to share my secret to saving money when there is none to save. I save all of my change! Every single penny, nickle, and quarter and every single dollar bill. At one time, I had close to 35 pounds of change and over $400 in singles. This is my personal stash to be used in an emergency, which always happens. 


     Saving any bill over a single, I just couldn't afford, but when I saved all my singles it didn't hurt my pocket book. It was actually really fun! We all need a little stash of money that we can use when needed and as a single parent, that little stash is harder to save. Saving your change and singles will give you that emergency money that is needed when something unexpected happens.
   

What to do? What to do?

       I have always been a single parent, even before Dori was born. (I will share soon why). As a single parent of a tween through young adult son, I was constantly telling myself I can love him for both mom and dad. I felt so much love for my kiddos that when he looked like he needed to they to shave, I tried to teach him. It was in that moment that I decided it was time for Justin to have male influences in his life. I felt desperate and that is NOT where God wants us. I prayed and asked a few men from my church if they would be a mentor to my son and spend time with him, and they all said yes. But, my son was not into that. I knew he needed a man's influence and mentoring, because I was unable to teach him everything manly even though I loved him for both, mom and dad.

      On September 24, 1995 I stood on stage and dedicated my children to the Lord and my pastor in prayer mentioned that my church was there to help me raise them. I took it as a contract and needed the church to full fill their part now. My church coveted with me to insure I will have anything I need in raising my kiddos.

      I was in church praying how can the church help me and God spoke to me that Justin should start serving during the week at church when the office was open. He was able to be at church because he was home schooled so day time hour were not an issue. Then my thoughts were how to get him there, because I worked. Then I realized the bus could take him directly to the corner and all he had to do was walk the rest of the way. Within 20 minutes I talked to all of the pastors and maintenance workers and it was approved so Justin could start in 2 days!

     My heart felt joy as I knew Justin would have godly men to teach him things in maintenance along with mentoring. Justin enjoyed it so much that he wanted to go 3-5 times a week and got the godly man mentoring he needed. My church stuck to our contract in helping me in any way to raise my son.

     Justin volunteered for about 18 months and worked with some of the strongest Christian men I have ever meet. Eventually it lead to a paying job at age 16 and he continues to work there today.
I encourage you, pray for godly influences to step in where you know you should not be teaching. This time with the church has molded my son into the godly man he is today and I will be forever thankful to my church!

Ugh Teenagers!!

    For me, I have always looked at parents that have successfully raised their children to love the Lord for guidance and ideas. If someone was trying to give me advice and their children were trying to build their testimony, I really didn't pay much attention. I made a comment to a godly woman that had raised 3 lovely godly daughters. I said how I was dreading my 2 young elementary aged` children becoming teenagers. She looked at me and replied that I should cherish these times and embrace those years in my children's lives. She preceded to tell me that this is when their lives are formed the most for adulthood and this is when they grow in the Lord and need our guidance the most.


     I am so thankful to that godly woman for those words because they changed my life!! From then on I was a better mommy and decided to embrace all those hormones that will be rampant in my home. I decide to embrace the teenage years! I will admit, the concept was very foreign to me and it made more aware of my attitudes to my children. I also knew I ned to listen to my children and not judge them for their choices.

    Teenagers need to be balanced and the fights need to be of your picking not your child's. My daughter and I have had under 8 arguments and whenever we have started we both back down and retreat for a while to think things through before we converse again. We return with cool heads and are able to talk and listen to each other. 


     Those words, embrace your children's teenage years , was probably the best advice I ever listened to! I think the reality of raising teens was I was scared they would pull away from me and not like me anymore. Those fears vanished when I chose to embrace the teenager years and listen to my kiddos. When we listen to our kiddos and not just tell them what to do, they feel they have value. When you listen to them, you have a wonderful opportunity to help them get to the correct outcome of most problems that come up.


     I encourage you today to embrace the teenage years and respect your children so they don't shut you out!!

I Love Jesus More than I Love You!!!

       I love Jesus more than I love you! The first time I told my children that, my daughter started to cry. She was about 5 years old and did not understand the concept of putting Jesus first and foremost in our lives. As parents, it is our job, to lead by example, and put Jesus first and above all else in our life. As a new Christian, I had a hard time understanding this new concept to live by.


       What does it mean to love Jesus more than anyone else in your life? When we ask ourselves, where does all good and pure love come from? We answer Jesus. So, in order to love our children we need to love Jesus more and in that agape love, HE fills us with love for others. A love that suppresses all understanding and allows us to even forgive our enemies. This is the love we are to teach our children about!


      Putting Jesus first in our lives is not always the easiest path we take, but it is the most rewarding. Putting Jesus first means putting ourselves and our selfish-vain desires last. Some people may call you lazy or indecisive, and you should be when Jesus is making decisions for you!


     After the first time, I told my kiddos I loved Jesus more, they would tell me they love Jesus more than they love me. I have to admit, I didn't like it at first, being second to someone else in my kiddos lives. It made me a little uncomfortable and my children took note of it and told me regularly they loved Jesus more. After all, I was both mom and dad to them! When I got over myself, I was blessed that they understood we are to put Jesus first in our lives.

      I encourage you to tell your children you love Jesus more, it is a great ice breaker, and will develop into some memorable and productive conversations with your children.

Our Chilren Belong to Jesus First!

     Yesterday, I was reminded of just how true this statement really is. It is a strange thing to think of our children as our brothers and sisters in Christ, but that is exactly what we are suppose to raise them to be. Our job as mom is to make sure that we train them in the way of the Lord and teach them diligently about our Savior. Yesterday, I got news that a teenager I knew as a child has cancer and the doctors state that there is nothing else they can do for him.


     This got me thinking about the short amount of time we really have to train our children and how heart breaking it would be to not know where they will spend eternity. The good news is the young man I talked about, does have a relationship with HIS savior and the parents can have a peace, through heart break and tears, that they will see their son again.


    Our children do not have the luxury of time to return to the Lord as prodigals that we had. We are in the end times and the generation that saw Israel become a state are elderly, and the Bible states that this generation will see Jesus return for HIS children. 

Mat 24:34	"Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place.
Mar 13:30	"Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place.
Luk 21:32	"Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all things take place.

     It is so important for us to know this, that it is in three of the Gospels. We need to take the Salvation of our children seriously stay on our knees in prayer for the Salvation of their souls.

     If we have a prodigal child we need to pray without ceasing and diligently for their Salvation. I would also ask everyone to pray for them and fill pout the prayer cards at church. Never give up and decide to just sit and wait for your child to return to the fold of Jesus!!

Home school? Who me? Really?

    Today marks a mile stone in my life, as I went with my daughter to take her assessment for college. They grow up fast, especially if you enjoy your kiddos and just like them along with love them. As I am completing my last MA Ed, they are both at the beginnings of their college careers. I remember every word the Lord spoke to me when HE made know HIS perfect will for my life to home school my children.


     I had been attending my church for about 8 months and was on my way to Wednesday morning Bible study and was having a conversation with God, I thought I was talking to myself. The Lord told me to home school my kiddos and I answered, "Home school? Who me? Really?" I preceded to tell the Lord why I am not qualified or life prepared to take on that responsibility. I tried to talk God out of it!


     I told Him I would get 2 jobs to put them in Christian school or drive them many miles to put them in a great public school. I also told Him I needed a break for them when they start school. I left the conversation telling God I would think of it. The Lord also gave me a verse I had never read before and couldn't remember where it was in the Bible.

Deu 6:7

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

     
     I went to Bible study and told the women the,"thoughts," I was having on my way to church and that I may just home school my kiddos. On Sunday evenings we always had a quest musician and the singer was telling us about home schooling and she even repeated the verse the Lord had given me.
I freaked out!! It scared me to think that lady knew what I was telling myself just a few days ago. I though it might have been the devil....I did not understand what was going on.


    My pastor was walking down the hall way and I ran up to him shacking and at the verge of tears. As my voice was cracking and I was trying to get the words out, he calmly explained to me that it was not the devil. It was God speaking to me and I just needed to listen to what He was telling me and obey it. God had blessed me with a conformation of His will for my life and it is a blessing not the devil. Whew...I guess I am going to home school! 


     From that moment on, I was a home school mom. Justin was 3 and Dori was 2. My family did not understand home schooling and were not happy with me teaching my own children. I was not an educated mom and didn't know a verb from a pronoun. All I knew is I wanted to obey God! 


     I was a single mom, not making much money and determined to walk in faith to follow the plans that God laid out for me and my children. I couldn't even read a curricilum, was scared and did not want to do anything to harm my kiddos. Teaching my kiddos to read terrified me. I did know that if I put them in public school they would be harmed, because it was not God's perfect will for our Familyx3 lives.


    It took years for my family to come around and support me as a home school mom. I think once they saw the goodness and how responsible my kiddos were, they relaxed and understood my choice, but really God's choice to home school.


     Thirteen years later my home school mom life is complete and my kiddos turned out responsible and independent. They both bought their first cars with the money they make at jobs and are able to pay for their cell phones and car insurance each month. I am glad I didn't know what I was doing 13 years ago, because I ad to trust God and pray more for guidance. God gets all the glory for my home school years and I praise HIM for raising them they way HE did. It scares me to think how things could have been different if I wouldn't have obeyed.


     Today I encourage you to listen to God and obey His will, so you can receive the perfect will in your life. No matter what the world says or how uneducated you think you are, Jesus will always know what is best for HIS children.
    

Bubby and Sissy Day!! Hurray!

     On Mother's Day I heard a child ask his mom why there is not a children's day. My children asked me the same question when they were about 7 and 8. I tried to explain to them that they get gifts on all the holidays, but they wanted a day just for them. This is how we started celebrating Bubby and Sissy Day. Making traditions was an important part of  their childhood, because in traditions memories are created that will last a life time.

     We decided on a date for that year at the beginning of each summer and chose a date right when they got home from summer camp the first few years. At summer camp there use to be a little store where they could buy each other a gift or I would take them to the Dollar Tree or Walmart.
    
      They were each given no more than $2-$5, it depended on how much I was able to donate, and they were off.  They brought the gifts home and wrapped them and then exchanged them. We celebrated Bubby and Sissy Day for about 9 years of their childhood and it always brings up fond memories and they tell me they will create a holiday for their children when they grow up.
    
      The importance of this "Holiday," to me, was creating a tradition that would produce happy memories. The tradition was not expensive and the kiddos looked forward to it each summer. There were years we would make a cake and cook a special meal.

      Another tradition we did each year began when Dori was about 4 years old. She called Valentine hearts, Happy Hearts because they made her happy. And from that we started having spaghetti because the sauce was red. They were my Valentines and I wanted to make more happy memories in a the traditions we had within our family. There were years I had coupons and we went to Alfredo's in San Bernardino to have really good spaghetti.

      The point I want to make is, traditions bring a family together and the kiddos will remember them when they are grown and probably laugh about them as well. Traditions do not have to cost lot of money and create priceless memories.  I wanted my children to have those memories of their childhood that would bless their heart as adults.

     When you look in the Bible there are traditions for each month of the year. God created them to bring times to remembrance, so the Hebrew's would not forget who God is. I took the premise  of God wanting HIS children to not forsake traditions and made my own for my Familyx3!

Eze 16:62

And I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I [am] the LORD:

When all I could do was PRAY!

     I hinted a few blogs back about a difficult time I had with my kiddos and have finally mustard up the courage to write about it. When our kiddos show signs of turning their back on the Lord and walking away, we as parents, feel helpless and lonely. The good news is this is when our relationship grows by leaps and bounds in Jesus because all we can do is pray!


     A few years back, my son was close to turning his back and walking straight into secular life and I panicked. My son was becoming the thing I dreaded most, a prodigal son.  He was at the age where he needed a godly man example in his life and I could not be that example. I remember the day I prayed to Lord through tears and cried out," Lord, I have no power here and trust You to bring him back into the fold."


      I started journaling daily my prayers and opened my heart up in words. What I found out through my written prayers floored me. I was repeating my prayers and he was NOT covered completely. I made a prayer calender of 30 days of prayer when my kiddos where toddlers and I thought it covered them, but it wasn't specific enough for his life in that moment. When I realized this, my prayers changed and I started to see specific prayers being written and then answered by the Lord. This was great encouragement to me. Through this, I started writing prayer cards for my kiddos and putting dates in my journal when God answered those specific prayers.


    The prayer cards were written on colored index cards and I had a case for each of my children. I would keep index cards in my purse and write them whenever I had time; at lunch during work, during church, waiting for the doctor and so on. I left them out where my children could read them because I wanted them to know how much I loved them and how I prayed for them.


     I wrote a specific prayer in my journal for protection of my son and showed it to him. I knew God lead me in the prayer and prayed without ceasing for a weekend the thing was suppose to happen and it did happen. My son came home and knew God had spoke to me and made a 180* turn and returned to Jesus!! I credit Jesus first leading me to journal my prayers to show me where I was deficient in my prayers for my son.


    God did provide godly men for my son as he started volunteer at church that very week, I will write about that another time. I learned a great lesson through journaling and still write in one occasionally. If I move to Heaven before my kiddos do, I want them to feel my presence and remember me through my written words in my journals and prayer cards.


     If you have a child that is hard to get under control and all you can do is pray, then I would start a journal to just see the words of your prayers and ask God to guide you while writing. You will be blessed!!

Pro 23:15

My son, if your heart is wise, My heart will rejoice--indeed, I myself;

My Prayer Cards I Wrote for my Kiddos

Over Flow my Kiddos with Jesus!!

     When my kiddos were young and still in elementary school, I had this over powering desire to bring every conversation back to Jesus. It is in the time when everyone was asking, "WWJD?" I just wanted to fill them with Jesus while I still had a little control of their lives.
   
     When God talked to me about homeschooling my children, I actually thought I was talking to myself until the exact words were talked about from a visiting worship singer, (for a later story), He quoted a Bible verse to me to live by. And like I have said before, I am like a manic when it came to teaching my children about the Lord or as God would say, diligently.

Deu 6:7

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

     I always enjoyed going for walks with my children and took this verse literally. We would walk around our neighborhood and play a game we called, What can you find that reminded you of the Bible and Jesus?

     Dori would always walk ahead of us to see things first, she was always the most competitive at family games. We found sticks that represent the cross, barbed wire that represent the thorns on Jesus head at the cross, filthy rags that represent our sins, red paint that represented Jesus blood for the cover of sins and much more. I always felt this was a way to communicate on our walk and what better than to take about the Lord!
    
     I also played the game for selfish reasons, if they would learn to talk about Jesus as an every day occurrence, then maybe when they became teens and the hormones went crazy, they would always refer back to Jesus and bring to remembrance our walks. I would say I was 25% right.

     This verse is so dear to me, because I not only read it, but I heard God teach it to me. I encourage you today to take this verse to heart, no matter the age of your children, because God's word does not return void. Your children may not seem to be listening to you at times, but they do remember a few things you say!

Do not forsake me!!

    The other day Dori and I were talking about how much I have always missed them when they were away from me. She seemed a little surprised and that got us talking about when they were in Sunday school years ago.

      I would drop them off and they hardly ever cried and truly enjoyed their time away from me with their little friends. As for me, I needed a break, but I also missed them. I was always one of the first parents down in the basement of our old sanctuary  to pick them up. They relied on me and trusted me to not forsake them and be there to sign them out. They had confidence in me and trusted me to get them before I went upstairs to fellowship.


     I worked in the elementary ministry in Sunday school and the infant nursery for the first 6 years we attended Packinghouse. In that time I witnessed children having separation anxiety when they were dropped off, then contentedness and excitement when they were picked up. The children that never reached the contentedness of the separation were the children who's parents would go and fellowship before they claimed their children from the class. There were parents that had to be hunted down after each service to pick up their children. I always thought if they would pick up their kiddos first, and then fellowship with others second, their children would enjoy church and find contentedness with the Sunday school teachers and nursery workers. It was heart breaking to see the disappointment on a child's face when the parents did not come and pick them, but instead had to be chased down to claim their child.


     My children trusted me to put them first, and for that, the Lord blessed me with children that still enjoy church and attend each week. I still miss my kiddos when they are away from me and have been blessed by their friends acceptance of me and a willingness to hang out at our house. I initiate bar-b-ques at our house and invite my kiddos friends and it gives them a place to hang out and play games. Those stories are for another day!!! Today I encourage you to always put your children first and foremost in your lives, because they are smart creatures and know when they come in second. Children trust as as infants and learn to not trust us by our actions!

Psa 53:2

God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were [any] that did understand, that did seek God.

Thou shalt not be lonely

     There are those days when I wish I was married and had a helpmate. I go through the scene in my head, he could wash my car, take over finances, unclog the toilet and just be there for ME. After all of this runs through my feeble mind, I start to ask myself these questions; What if he wasn't God's plan for my life just yet? What if he didn't get along with my kiddos? What if he didn't approve of the way I am raising my kiddos? Then reality sets in and contentedness comes back and I praise God for my life and children. If I would have stepped outside the realm of God's will and got married my children would have suffered and I wouldn't have the closeness I have with them. I would not be able to bear that sin in my life.
 
     Praise God! Thou shalt not get lonely is not the 11th commandment! We all get lonely and what could be worse than a single gal getting lonely? A married gal getting lonely, that is what I always tell myself. Marriage is not a cure all for loneliness. Marriage brings with it a whole lot more challenges and struggles by adding another personality into the family domain. Don't get me wrong, one day I would like to be married and have a promise for God that it will happen, but I will wait for the guy God chooses for me and not venture out on my own. I will choose to be content.

     I remember one Valentines Day when my kiddos where very young and most of my friends were talking about what they will or got from their hubbies. I was lonely and feeling left out and I decided right then that my children will be my Valentines. The kiddos were at my moms and I decorated the house with Valentines. I must have signed 100 Valentines and taped them on walls, windows, mirrors and doors! When my kiddos walked into the house they were first puzzled and then they saw To Dori and To Justin and they ran around the house grabbing all of their cards. They were helping each other and telling the other where their cards were. It was so much fum to see their excitement! I was no longer lonely because I have 2 Valentines that would never leave me and never forsake me!!

     Being lonely is just part of life and we don't have to be like that for long periods of time. I encourage you that when ever you do feel lonely, do something unexpected for your children and see the excitement on their faces. It doesn't need to cost money. Write them letters, have a little scavenger hunt in your house, take them to the park and anything else you normally don't do every day. The smiles on your children's faces when you surprise them is priceless. The loneliness will go and joy and an abundance of love will fill the void!!

1Jo 5:2

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.

  We are a Family!!!

          I don't understand why these words, "We are a family," touched my heart so deeply, but they did. I went to a single parent family camp when my children were 4 and 5. The speaker was a single parent pastor from a church about 50 mile away and he was so interesting! I never really thought about me and my kiddos being a family, we just were. The point the pastor was getting at was when 2 parents divorce, children feel as though their family is no longer and broken up. I see this first hand with families that have divorced. The children have their dad's house and their mom's house, and I never hear them say our house or my house. The children feel at home in both homes, but his words say something that really got me wondering if my children felt we were a family.
     
        I decided to make a deliberate choice, making sure my children understand that the 3 of us are a family, so I created a nickname for us. I call us Familyx3!! One day I am going to get it tattooed on my wrist, so I can see it every day because it is that dear to my heart. I wanted my children to see it and know we were a family, not a traditional family with both parents, but a family God created.

      
       When my children were preteens or tweens we went on a short trip. I use to Priceline a hotel room near the beach to just to take a mini adventure and on one of those trips I asked God to lead  me to  a family verse to hold in my heart and teach to my children while praying for it to happen. I wanted something to put peace in my heart and scripture to pray for my Familyx3.

Now I plead with you, brethren by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that you all speak the same thing and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement. 1 Corinthians 1:10

This is how I desired my family to live by. I wanted us to be of one mind, that  Jesus is our Savior and be united in Christ, for this is where my heart is, the deepest desires of my heart. God has granted me this prayer request. My children like each other and are best friends. There have only been a few weeks where I panicked and my heart broke because they were not getting along. I will post about that later and reveal how God brought all of the discontent to His glory.

I encourage you to pray for a family Bible verse and pray on it, for it truly is God's will for your life and the peace in your family.

and

        Over the 17+ years of my Christian life, I have been a single mom raising my 2 kiddos with Jesus. It has been trying at times as well as lonely being both the mom and dad figure in my children's lives. I always told myself I needed to love them more as if they had both parents in the home. Their father has been absent since the pregnancy of my daughter who is now 17 years old, independent with a job and just bought her first car. My son is 18 years old and just completed his first year of college with 4.0 and was hired for a second job tutoring in biology. He has also held a job at our church since he was 16 years old. I will get into that later.
         For now, I just want to introduce myself and the reasoning behind writing a blog. I have had 3 pastors from my church tell me to write a book on how to raise godly children, especially as a single parent. I wish I would have wrote in a journal more when my kiddos were young to recall in details all the trials and stretching the Lord has brought me through. This is really out of my comfort level because I will need to open myself up and let everyone learn of my failures and triumphs. Who ever said raising kids was not for wimps knew what they were speaking about. I have learned many lessons through trail and error that then lead to constant and fervent prayer. The Lord has brought us to a place where I can now look back and have the peace that surpasses all understanding that my children will be with me in Heaven! So this is where I will start.....
       In 2007 I was blessed to travel to Israel with an inheritance from my grandpa. My children were 12 and 13 and at a point in their life where they need to make a choice about Jesus. God opened my eyes on that trip and revealed to me the most important gift I can give my children is a godly mommy and teach them about Jesus that leads to salvation. My heart was so heavy because I did not know where they stood at that age. It is a tricky age and I doubt they knew either. They both said they were saved, but my heart lingered in uncertainty and without peace just not knowing for sure. After that trip I started a fervent prayer over them, night and day I prayed, I filled out prayer cards out at church and humbled myself to ask everyone I knew who prayed, to pray for their salvation. It became the center of my life, watching, praying and trying to guide them towards salvation. As I look back now, I was similar to a manic about seeing them in Heaven. We can not make them accept Jesus as their Savior, but we can lead them by example and words of God's never failing wisdom.I can stand here now and tell you they are both saved and I can exhale and rest in the assurance of God's salvation.
       It was not always an easy task, and there were trials and tears, but they made it. I will share some of those experiences next time I blog!! Blessings to you!